Friday, January 10th was National Quitters Day. Always the second Friday after New Years Day, Quitters Day is the day people are most likely to decide to quit their New Year’s resolutions.
(Look it up – I don’t make everything up.)
I suspect it’s because people who decide to stop drinking want to go out and party after missing a weekend, but I’m not a researcher. And I digress.
Speaking for myself, there are plenty of behaviors I should stop doing in my personal life, and since my daughter is about to have our first grandchild, now seems as good a time as any.
Speaking as a leader, I quit a number of behaviors a long time ago, because I learned how detrimental they were to successful team performance and how hurtful they can be to individuals. Some I learned by trial and error, and some were brought to my attention.
The latter was usually painful, so maybe you can learn vicariously from my mistakes. These may not all resonate with you, but here are a few behaviors I needed to quit that were a surprise to me:
Showing favoritism. Never in a million years did I think I was playing favorites. I thought I was just treating my high performers like high performers and my slugs like slugs. What I learned was how you act toward someone has nothing to do with how you assign work or recognize accomplishments. There’s a big difference, and I’m different now.
If that might sound like you, quit playing favorites.
Being unapproachable. What?? Me?! I had a clear open-door policy: if I wanted you in my office, my door was open. From feedback I got, that didn’t even begin to scratch the surface. I wasn’t approachable: if I was busy, in a hurry, in a bad mood, or if someone was easily intimidated. What I learned as the leader of a team was being approachable was (and still is) one of the most important behaviors a leader should exhibit. It comes with being a good listener, encouraging, empowering, and if need be, forgiving.
Quit being unapproachable.
Setting unclear expectations. I knew what I wanted done, and I told them what they needed to do. It seemed clear to me. The results were predictable: their failure to meet expectations resulted in my frustration. It took a high performer to finally open my eyes. She didn’t know the results I was looking for, the purpose or what would be done with the results, or when I wanted them by. Apparently, she couldn’t read my mind.
A tip: not everyone is as smart as you. I recommend you quit setting unclear expectations.
Pretending to know when I didn’t. Guilty. And I knew I did it. After all, what leader wants to look stupid in front of their team. What I didn’t know was that I already looked stupid in front of the team, because someone did know and soon, everyone else would know but me. Follow that?
Not only do pretenders lose respect and trust, but there are also a host of negative consequences that come along with making bad decisions or recommendations because you don’t want to admit you don’t know. On the other hand, acknowledging a gap in your expertise and asking for help shows honesty and humility. And that produces respect and trust – the currency of leadership.
If you’re a pretender like I was, quit it!
I don’t know what behaviors you need to quit exhibiting, but I do know there’s an easy way to figure them out. Try this:
Think of the very worst leader you’ve ever had. Now think of the behaviors that made them the worst and the way they made you feel. Quit doing those.
Now think of the best leader you’ve ever had and the behaviors that made them the best. Start doing those instead.
No better time than the start of the new year to give yourself a little leadership tune-up.
Or you can keep doing the same thing and getting the same results.
As an executive coach, I get to see leadership in action across all kinds of organizations. After reflecting on my chats and visits with clients this past year, I’ve put together ten important lessons going forward that really stood out.
These aren’t just theories from a textbook—they’re insights I’ve gathered right from the frontlines of corporate life that will help you navigate your 2025 with success.
Lesson 1: You Gotta Wanna
(Mrs. Burch, my 3rd grade English teacher, is rolling in her grave.)
Look, all the C-suite endorsements, mentorship programs, and golden opportunities won’t matter one bit if someone isn’t demonstrably hungry for their own growth.
I had a client, a next-level exec—a rising star on paper—who had it all: executive sponsorship, a clear path to the top, the whole shebang.
But they remained stubbornly head-down in the weeds, refusing to accept the support, feedback, or assistance offered.
Can’t push a rope, folks.Lesson 2: Protecting Poor Performers is Risky
When you keep a struggling leader (particularly a senior leader) too long, you’re not just losing 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒–productivity, performance–you’re actively damaging 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑠.
Your credibility takes a hit, and the whole team knows it.
It’s a slow leak in your leadership boat–eventually, 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑡.
Address performance issues head-on, particularly within leadership. Your team will thank you for it (trust me on this).
Lesson 3: Echo Chambers are Dangerous
Want to hear something uncomfortable?
Growth, progress, improvement–all require 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒.
And yet we are frequently surrounded with voices that whisper “we’ve always done it this way” in our ear.
Those comfort-seeking echoes? They’re the death knell of progress.
When everyone’s nodding, 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔.
Lesson 4: Similar Challenges, Different Scopes
That unique leadership challenge keeping you up at night?
𝑆𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑡: It’s likely not as unique as you think.
From C-level to front-line supervisors, managers, and team leads, I see the same core challenges play out–just with different dollar signs attached.
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑’𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒.Lesson 5: Leadership Improvement is a Ratchet
Here’s the thing about leadership growth–there’s no “back” button.
Once you level up your leadership game? That’s it. Your new baseline.
Your team isn’t thinking “wow, she’s better than last year, hope it sticks.”
There’s a quote frequently attributed to John Wayne, “𝐿𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑; 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑝𝑖𝑑.”
Whether he said it or not, the premise is true: If you don’t know what you’re doing, leadership can be harder than it needs to be.
𝐿𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔–𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑛𝑜 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑐𝑢𝑡.
Wrap-up
These lessons might seem simple or even obvious.
But as with most leadership stuff, the hard part isn’t figuring them out; it’s putting them into practice.
You must do the heavy lifting yourself.
The best leaders I’ve come across this year weren’t necessarily the smartest or the most charming—they were the ones who knew these truths and acted on them over and over again.
Leading isn’t about getting it perfect; it’s about getting better.
It’s about being a bit better today than you were yesterday and even better tomorrow.
Get better in 2025.
Hope you found something useful in these observations from the field, and these lessons can help guide you on that journey.
I’d really love to hear your thoughts on your 2025 leadership journey.
Oh, and before my inbox fills up—no, that wasn’t about you. Unless, of course, you clearly see yourself in these lessons. In that case, maybe we should chat. You know how to reach me.
So, how do we navigate the post-election terrain and steer our teams positively?
Here are ten strategies to consider:
Embrace the rollercoaster, expect big changes: Forget autopilot. The new administration, liberated from the constraints of re-election, will likely be making bold, rapid, even aggressive decisions.
Think agility, think adaptability, think “we’re not in Kansas anymore.” Stay nimble. Stay informed. Stay ready to pivot.
Embrace both empathy and logic. Emotions run high after elections. Some folks are ecstatic, others despondent. Lead with empathy.
Recognize that people on your team may have strong feelings, regardless of where they fall on the political spectrum. Equally important: don’t let emotions cloud your judgment.
Inflation is a logical consequence of economic forces. Recession talk, while influential, is often fueled by emotion. Manage both with a steady, rational hand.
Succession planning 2.0 – It’s not just about age anymore. Remember that impending wave of senior leaders nearing retirement? It just crested. A combination of “enough of this, I’m out” and the traditional “I can finally step aside” crowds are heading for the exits.
Prepare your organization for a potential leadership shuffle. Identify and nurture your future leaders.
Time for succession planning on steroids.
The talent hunt just got real. In a market where everyone is playing musical chairs, standing out is crucial. Invest in your leaders (all levels) and your company culture.
Recruit strategically. Prioritize retention.
Remember that engaged employees are your strongest asset.
Shift into hyperdrive (without burning them out). The pace of change is accelerating. “Sweeping and aggressive” might be an understatement.
Cultivate a sense of urgency within your organization, while being mindful that speed without direction is just chaos. Balance rapid execution with clear communication and support for your team. Focus on accountability.
Help them adapt to the accelerated pace and avoid burnout. Be present.
Innovate or obsolete. Now is the time for bold innovation. Whether it’s efficiency gains, incremental improvements, or disruptive breakthroughs, innovation will be essential for staying in the race.
Encourage experimentation, embrace calculated risks, and create a culture where new ideas can flourish. Well-thought mistakes are huge learning opportunities.
Breakage happens – Ready Plans B and C. With rapid change comes the likelihood of… well, things breaking. Contingency planning isn’t optional now; it’s your lifeline.
Anticipate potential disruptions, develop alternative strategies, and be prepared to pivot quickly when necessary.
Embrace urgency and accountability. Holding people accountable isn’t about being a jerk; it’s about achieving results.
In the post-election whirlwind, clear expectations and consistent follow-through are more critical than ever. Define roles, delegate effectively, and ensure that everyone understands their contribution to the success of the organization.
Manage the influencers. On your team, not on Instagram. The corporate world isn’t immune to political influence. Expect some big players (relationships, support, donations) on your rolls may to try and leverage their connections.
Help them navigate this new landscape with grace and wisdom. Steer them away from knee-jerk reactions, ego-driven decisions, and anything that could be remotely construed as “stupid.”
Remember, this too shall pass. Elections are a cyclical phenomenon. The intensity of the current moment will eventually fade. But that doesn’t mean you can be complacent.
Remember, leadership isn’t necessarily about predicting the future, it’s about navigating it. Stay informed, stay adaptable, and stay laser-focused on leading your team, regardless of who occupies the Oval Office.
Are you tired of hearing the same old gripes around the building? Really annoyed by the whiners and complainers who just seem to never shut up?
Well, do something!
But there’s a catch – you have to do it right, or else you become the poster child for “throwing good money after bad.” Or, my favorite, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
As an executive coach and leadership consultant, I’ve seen myriad leadership teams seemingly stuck in analysis paralysis. You know the drill – discussions, meetings, and reports, ad nauseum.
But zero action. It’s like they’re waiting for the silver bullet to magically appear, while employees are wondering if this comedy show has any adult supervision at all.
Sometimes, you just gotta do something.
Listen, Learn, and Look for the Big Stuff
First things first, you’ve got to know what’s broken. Likely, you’ve got a good idea. You’ve heard it before, can see the signs, you’ve read the tea leaves… whatever.
Now’s not the time to be intentionally obtuse – you know what’s up.
Stop pretending you’re too busy. You’re not.
So, stop and listen. If you have the time, a survey could be a good idea (assuming enough trust exists), or go old school and keep your ear to the ground if a survey isn’t in the cards. Lean on your trusted advisors for guidance.
You’re not looking for nitpicks and minutiae; you want the real stuff – the known reasons for leaving, the memes, the jokes, the elephants in the room.
Listen to those rumblings in the hallway, the whining in the break room, the passive-aggressive comments in meetings, and those outwardly awkward pauses on Zoom calls.
A cautionary note here: Never, ever ask – be it a survey, a town hall, or even a well-intentioned curiosity email – unless you are willing to take some action. Just don’t.
Better to not ask and not do, than to ask and not do. Trust me on this.
Fix What You Can, Address What You Can’t
Now go to work. Focus on low-hanging fruit – the things that can be quickly fixed, like work arrangements or team relationships. Maybe even – heaven forbid – slicing up some of the bureaucratic bullshit permeating the place.
These are the quick wins that don’t require a miracle or a honkin’ big budget.
Improving office spaces, offering some flexibility in schedules, and encouraging all to play well together. These go a long way. Maybe even turn up the thermostat by half a degree. Crazy, I know.
Don’t try to do everything at once; you can’t anyway, and you’ll break something trying. Do some things, test the results, do some more. Prioritize for impact.
But be real, there will be things that can’t be fixed. And that’s okay. Don’t ignore or act like they aren’t real; address them openly and honestly. Explain why they can’t be fixed and what – if anything – you’re doing to mitigate the issue. Transparency is key.
Tell ’em What You Fixed
I see so many leadership teams screw up this part. It’s not enough to ask what needs fixing. It’s not even enough to actually do the fixing. You simply must get just as good at telling people what you have done, and why (hint: it’s because they asked for it).
You’re doing the heavy lifting – may as well get some credit for it. You know you’ll get the blame if it breaks, so get what you can.
“Hey, we fixed the coffee machine in the breakroom since you guys brought it up,” will do more than you know for engagement, morale, and satisfaction. Never kid yourself; little things matter.
I’m serious about this, it’s a regular misstep. Leaders fix a few things, break their arm patting themselves on the back, and go merrily on their way, assuming everyone will just magically know about it.
Newsflash: not how it works.
Follow up and communicate what you’ve done. You took action to address some of their concerns and issues. Don’t shy away from publicity now – take credit for taking action.
Those you lead need to know that you’re listening, that you care (hello, empathy?), and that you’re doing something about the crap they wrestle with.
So, there you have it. Just do something (but do it right!). It’s not rocket science, but it does require some effort and intention. Remember, your team is counting on you to lead, to listen, and to take action. So, what are you waiting for?
Several years ago, my sister gave me a copy of Impossible to Please by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender. She said it was for my wife, and the book was about how to deal with the controlling perfectionists in our lives.
She also said I might benefit from an impartial description of — get this — me.
Ouch.
Okay, so I only had two standards: perfect and unacceptable. I acknowledged that there was more than one way to accomplish a task… my way and the wrong way. That didn’t make me a bad person, did it?
It’s not like I imposed my unreasonably high standards on my family or people at work. After all, I’ve always said, “Don’t let perfection get in the way of good enough.” And I talked plenty about building a culture where failures are learning experiences and not short-cuts to the unemployment line and of embracing our own failures as steppingstones on the road to self-improvement. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Other people’s failures, of course.
So what’s the problem with having unreasonably high standards?
The problem is that is makes us damned hard to work for. And guess what, as leaders it’s not about us; it’s about them. We never get the best from people when we bully them — yes, perfectionists bully, even if that’s not their intent.
Perfectionists notice only what’s wrong and not what’s right. But if our feedback style doesn’t include some encouragement about the good while we’re delivering the bad and the ugly, we stop seeing the good at all. And we stop getting the best out of our team.
As an example, it used to be a gold-star day when someone got a report past me without needing some re-work. Did that motivate them to try their best? Only initially, but when they learned their best would never been good enough, they started sending me crap knowing I’d put the effort into polishing the turd. Hardly the practice of a high-performing team.
Perfectionists are inflexible, resistant to change, and stubborn about having it done our way. Nothing wrong with that, since our way is the best, right?
I can assure you that when we aren’t willing to let others do a task less perfectly than we would do it ourselves, we end up pretty much doing everything ourselves anyway. Then we complain about being overworked, underappreciated, and short on the time and energy we need to be spending as leaders.
As my mother would say, “You kinda brought that on yourself, didn’t you?”
With a tip of the hat to Maya Angelou, “…people will never forget how you made them feel.” Perfectionist bosses make others feel like they can’t do anything right. Hardly the legacy I wanted to leave as a leader, but what was I to do? ‘Good enough’ is the last thing I wanted to be remembered as.
Oh, that’s right… it wasn’t about me; it was about them.
The good news: it’s simple to change. The bad news: it’s not that easy to make the change stick.
First, like any good twelve-step program, admit you’re a perfectionist and it’s a problem. And probably a controlling perfectionist at that. Admit that you’re holding others to a standard that you yourself can’t meet, and in the process you’re holding the organization hostage by not letting others be acceptably successful.
The second step simply requires you to reframe success. Is perfection success? Probably. What about excellent? How about fully compliant and on time? What if your email gets the message delivered effectively but is missing a comma? Can you see where I’m going with that?
That’s it. That’s all it took for me. No more mining for Unobtanium.
(Okay, like anyone in recovery, I’m a work in progress.)
Make sure people know what success looks like, and when they get there, let them know it! Set clear and reasonable (achievable) expectations for them — and yourself — and celebrate when they’re met.
That doesn’t mean settling for good enough; by all means, shoot for the stars, make continuous improvements and set audacious goals. Just make sure you’ve effectively communicated what success looks like and be happy when you get there.
You know who I’m talking about, too. Those people who just never seem happy; who always see the negative even when the message is positive; who suspect ulterior motives regardless of act. They are the literal “pain in your neck.”
Personally, I could recommend you just whack ‘em. That’ll please a lot of people working nearby, and you’d be surprised at the immediate effect that would have on other malcontents in the organization.
But then, we wouldn’t need this article, so here we are. You’re stuck with them, or keeping them for some reason, or simply want to help them emerge from their dark hole.
Here are some ways you can deal with these sourpusses:
What attitude? Typically, when you try to address an “attitude,” you get a blank, puzzled stare, and some horse hockey about they “have no idea what you’re talking about.” So, let’s get specific.
Frankly, it’s not the attitude; it’s the observable behavior that’s a problem.
“Sue, I hear you comment or complain every time we roll out a new initiative. Frankly, I want it to stop. Now. Keep it to yourself or go speak with your supervisor. No more vocal whining to others.”
You get the idea. You can determine–and explicitly state–what is and isn’t acceptable in your organization (obvious exceptions to this are harassment, retaliation, SOX disclosures, etc.).
The idea here is not overt heavy-handedness, it’s making sure the workforce isn’t subjected to a constant complainer’s rants.
Proselytizing may help. Try to convert them to your way of thinking. Be direct in your comments and explain why it’s in their best interest to become more positive. Let these folks know that their perceived attitudes (demonstrable, of course) are noticed by others, and certainly affect their ability to succeed in the organization.
In other words, explain the WIIFM: “What’s in it for me.”
“Janet, I want you to be more positive in your interactions with others. Your negativity is noticeable and not much fun to be around. I want to help, so let’s discuss.”
Sometimes, the “next step” may be necessary. “Bill, I need you to behave more positively—in fact, it’s necessary if you want to continue to work here. Smile a bit, be pleasant when asked for help, respond to ‘hellos’ and ‘good mornings.’”
Zero tolerance is the rule. They are called “non-negotiables.”
When you decide to change a malcontent to something more positive, be specific as mentioned above, and then be prepared: you must address each and every “slip” or transgression that deviates from your discussion.
Every single instance.
No letting up, no “letting it slide.” If you do, each time it occurs you’ve “reset” the entire change process. There can be no turning back. If they do well for three weeks then have a relapse, you simply cannot think “well, they’ve done well up until now—let’s see how it plays out.” No, you’ve got to address it.
Immediately.
No try, only do. Master Yoda was right – there’s no credit for saying “I’ll try,” or “make every effort.” There’s only credit for actually doing.
You need a firm commitment from this yahoo that s/he will take immediate, positive action to correct this unacceptable behavior – not that they’ll “do their best to be more positive,” in some vague indeterminate sense.
Make it crystal clear that this is not some esoteric “hope you can do better;” it’s a must-have, a condition for future advancement, opportunities, and yes, maybe even continued employment.
Close ain’t good enough (pardon the grammar transgression, mom). To continue the thinking from 3 & 4 above, this isn’t hand grenades or horseshoes.
Even when this person is trying, you must be diligent. They’ve got to nail it down correctly. Coming close, even if well-intentioned, won’t work here.
Remember, you could have simply tolerated the behavior as we had been doing; you chose, instead, to attempt to change it.
You must stay the course, and you must be crystal clear.
Close isn’t good enough.
Inspect what you expect. Follow-up, diligently and repeatedly.
This person needs to know that you aren’t simply “having a nice discussion.” We are discussing performance-related behaviors, we expect them to change to reach an acceptable standard, and we intend–as with any good performance management effort–to follow-up to ensure those changes are implemented.
In other words, “I’ll be watching…”
This is important, for a couple of reasons: First, this employee needs to know – really, personally understand – that your expectations are for immediate, positive performance improvement.
No better way to demonstrate that than being around to see it.
Second, you may actually “catch them” doing something right, in which case, that’s a super time for a little positive reinforcement (see proselytizing above).
Never let ‘em see you sweat. Don’t get mad, upset, frustrated or annoyed. Treat as you would any other aspect of an employee’s performance.
You’ve done nothing wrong—don’t feel bad or guilty, and never assume ownership of someone’s employment conditions when they have the power to change and control those conditions.
Remember, this too shall pass.
Malcontents generally know they aren’t the most pleasant people in the world; they typically, however, feel somewhat justified in their actions, and certainly don’t always realize the extent of their behavior.
And those who do generally succeed in being “difficult to talk to,” so their behavior goes unchecked.
So, don’t get mad, just make them change.
And remember that Grace and Accountability can coexist.
