Consultants, trainers, human resource managers and the like have harped on giving feedback and coaching employees for as long as I can remember, but the fact that they still harp on it (plus my own personal experience) tells me that the message for some reason rarely takes a complete hold. I am quite sure there are tons of theories as to why, but, in my opinion, the reason is not that the message is not heard, instead it is because it is the wrong message.
We all know the importance of giving feedback because intrinsically we know the personal value of getting it (or at least some of us do). The value proposition for getting feedback is not only to know how well we are doing, but also to tell us what we need to start doing, keep doing, or stop doing. Most “how to” books and training programs do a decent job of articulating the value proposition, but few make it personal which is where we get the real understanding. We best understand the value proposition when we consider the concept of feedback in terms of us receiving it. Close your eyes and imagine working for someone who hires you, points you to your office, and says “get to work.” They never says another word outside of a periodic “you screwed up” or an annual review that gives you no information and a three percent raise. Some people might consider that situation a blessing but, for most, the lack of feedback creates an internal disruption that either drives us to worry and work harder while getting more frustrated or work less until we receive more information. Everyone needs feedback of some kind. Some jobs offer external feedback (objective scorecards, etc.), some individuals are able to come up with their own systems, but regardless of what a job offers or an individual is able to come up with on their own, manager feedback is still essential.
There are a significant number of resources available to help you learn techniques for giving good feedback, but few, if any, address “how” to give feedback in terms of fitting it in an already packed calendar. So let’s start with that notion in mind. Let’s start by changing how we view feedback. In most of our worlds, giving feedback is treated as an “event.” Something for which we must carve out separate and distinct time and then make sure we have all of our documentation, etc. so to “follow the process.” Stop and think for a moment about the purpose of feedback, it’s either to help someone to change something or to make sure they repeat something (good work). The process that we get hung up with and that leads us to this “event” mindset is one which is meant to force change – “either change or get out.” While feedback is definitely involved in that process, we can often avoid the conflict rich feedback process generally associated with trying to force change through progressive discipline processes if we choose to look at feedback differently much earlier in the employment relationship.
Does that make sense? If so, then you’re probably asking “if not an event, then what?”
The “Then What”
Feedback is about a conversation! Think about how many times a day you interact with your employees. Email, phone calls, drop by visits (even the little ones), or even bumping into them in the hallway. Most of us encounter our employees with some amount of regularity during the week. The “then what” is to make the most out of what you are already doing, not doing more. Feedback does not always have to be formal, scheduled, structured, or planned. Ongoing feedback can be something as simple as a “great job on getting that new client” or “let’s watch our attention to detail, little errors can sometimes add up.” Either of those lines can be given at the beginning or end of any conversation. Simply consider them as slight course corrections caused by providing a little more wind in an already expanded sail. What’s interesting is that the “then what” occurs even if we don’t include it in our regular interactions. In the absence of feedback (data), employees fill in the gap by trying to read your non-verbal cues, mood, lack of communication, etc. While sometimes they are correct, in most cases, they are not and that is what causes employee discomfort and ambiguity. So the next time you send your employee a quick email to check on a project’s status, add a line to thank them for their effort – that is feedback. Then the next time you have a one-on-one (an event) you can give them even more information and tell them why you thanked them.
Receiving Feedback
Another integral step in giving good feedback is in learning to receive feedback. Too much focus is given to direct feedback in terms of coaching and counseling so let me start by saying when I talk about “receiving feedback” I am NOT talking solely about direct feedback in those terms. We get feedback all of the time. It comes to us in what we sometimes see as obvious messaging and then often times in messaging that we completely miss or ignore. Either way, there are keys to remember when receiving any kind of feedback:
- Don’t take it personally
- Accept it, work to understand it – don’t judge it
- Be thankful
If we assume all feedback is well intentioned and we do each of those three things, the outcomes we’ll see in both our own actions and other’s perceptions. Even if the feedback is ill-intentioned, doing those three things will still promote positive change!
The more important aspect to talk about, however, is where we get our feedback. We can ask for direct feedback and sometimes get it, but getting good dire feedback from our employees can often times be difficult. With that in mind we have to look for our feedback in other places. The first place to look is in the results that we generate through others. While employees have to own their results, we have to honestly assess if we have any ownership that should be shared. Secondly, we get feedback in the non-verbal cues our employees demonstrate. It is up to us to be attentive. That is not to say that we simply need to watch body language. Though that is important, the more important aspects of non-verbal cues are in a person’s paralanguage – the rate of speech, inflection used, confidence demonstrated, etc. These cues are all around us and if we demonstrate good attentiveness we can capture the feedback and adjust accordingly while still in stride. The key for receiving any feedback, direct or indirect, is that we have to want it.
Conclusion
Once we understand what feedback is and its true purpose, we can make significant changes in our work environment and subsequently in the results we generate. The point we should remember with regard to giving feedback is that we give it regardless of our intent so we have to maintain a heightened level of awareness. Similarly, if we want feedback we need only pay attention as it is there for us to see and hear. In either case, we have to remember that – like our employees – we have many ways to give and receive feedback. Good leaders learn to use them all.
So which ones are you working on today?
