There is an old joke/fable that many of you have probably heard… it goes something like this:
One day a manager was scouring the countryside for a solid candidate, but striking out everywhere. The lions were too lazy, the elephants ate too much, the monkeys wouldn’t sit still. Those damned eagles always wanted to be in charge. This manager, beaten and depressed, dropped down and sat in the middle of a field, head in his hands.
A few minutes into his pity party (c’mon, we’ve all been there), he heard a hissing, and looked next to his foot… it was a 6-foot rattlesnake! “Hey, there,” said the snake. “I hear you need help. Just hire me, and all your troubles will be over. I’m crafty, pretty fast, and not trying to climb any ladders.”
Desert Snake close-up portrait
“Wait a minute…” said the manager, “… you’re a snake! I’ll have to check your references first.” So, the manager contacted people whom the snake had been with before, and sure enough, “You don’t have a very good reputation,” said the manager. “They all say that hiring you will just come back to bite me.”
“C’mon,” said the snake. “Those people are just disgruntled, and maybe even a little jealous. Trust your gut — you need me.”
So, the manager finally acquiesced and hired the snake, who turned out to be a super employee. The manager began thinking he nearly misjudged, and that the references were misguided. Then one day, of course, the snake simply slithered up alongside and bit the manager on the leg.
“WHAT???” cried the manager… “You promised that if I would just give you a chance, this wouldn’t happen!”
“Yes, I did,” said the snake, “but you knew I was a snake when you hired me.”
Now, the real joke is much longer (stretched out for dramatic effect), but you get the idea. In this war for competitive, competent talent, it’s easy to ignore our instincts and available proof, and succumb to the belief that, “maybe they’ll work out after all.”
Just like with mutual funds, “Past performance does not guarantee future results.” But it’s all you’ve got. If something looks too good to be true, or you are convinced through judgment, history, or instinct that it’s wrong… run away from it.
Yeah, right. I’m calling bullshit. Enough already with this change-kumbaya stuff. Sometimes, change is essential for growth, for progress, hell even for organizational survival. Sometimes.
I get that.
But sometimes, we change for changes’ sake, and that’s just got to stop. Take automation, for example… At some point in our storied, sordid organizational evolution, we determined that anything we do can be made “better” if we simply automate it. Sort of like adding bacon makes all food better.
Except it’s true about the bacon…
Too frequently, though, we have processes in our organizations that just don’t work well. They aren’t all that effective, aren’t necessarily efficient, and truthfully, should be drastically modified or deep-sixed altogether.
In other words, many of our existing processes are crap. And if we take crap to begin with, then automate it, you know what we get?
Automatic crap.
And we want this? Really? Instead of using a bad manual process and taking several hours, or even days, to screw something up, we put the technology in place to now screw it up at the mere push of a couple of buttons.
Change is simple; just close your eyes, hold your breath, and wait. It happens.
Effective change management, on the other hand, takes some skill. From my view of the world, 3 things are necessary for senior executives to successfully drive positive change:
Belief and commitment. You gotta believe — really believe — that what you are doing is right and appropriate, using a variety of litmus tests. Mid-management, supervisors, and/or line employees will quickly detect if your commitment is anything but resolute.Change management isn’t for the weak at heart, so strap in, point the way, and hold the course (I always wanted to use that line).
Yup… a colleague of mine in corporate Human Resources told me he never, ever, goes to the EEOC’s proffered mediation sessions.
Says he has no reason to go; says he’s right, the claimant is wrong, and he can prove it. Therefore, in his mind, no reason to attend whatsoever.
What a loser…
Listen to me carefully: Go to each and every EEOC mediation offered by the EEOC, forever and ever, amen.
Look, the EEOC wants the employer there to potentially provide an economic or related reason for the plaintiff/claimant to relinquish their claim. They closely track statistics for successful mediation; though the EEOC is always (and never forget this), ALWAYS the employee’s advocate, they have vested, personal interests in resolving via mediation.
Additionally, it’s a chance to “see all the cards,” in case — just in case, mind you — there is a “smoking gun” or something similar of which you were unaware.
It happens, folks. At one time or another, we’ve all been blind-sided, BS’ed, exaggerated to, and just plain lied to. Better to find out in a non-discoverable venue like mediation, than from the EEOC when they file a “friend of the plaintiff” brief or worse, decide to support by suing in direct support.
You make better decisions with better information. Get all the information you can. You can still say “no.” You can still leave the mediation with your checkbook intact (if you want to), but go to the mediation.
While I’m at it, don’t get me started on the business case of early, inexpensive settlements. They have a viable place in the process — but that’s for a later entry.
Leadership is authentic. You can’t fake it, folks.
So, I recently attended my niece’s wedding in San Antonio. Since we frequently travel there to spend time on the Riverwalk, I thought this a wonderful opportunity to evaluate a new hotel for future stays.
Enter The Hotel Contessa.
Lots of staff, all looking like they were in the right places. Classy decor, reasonably upscale. All-suites, and the one we had — a “King” suite — was quite nice.
For all appearances, this was the real deal.
The Hotel Contessa, however, suffered from a problem. In Texas, we have this phrase (ok, in Texas we have a lot of ‘phrases,’ but I’m just using one):
All hat and no cattle.
Looked good, had all the appearances of the “real deal;” I’ll even go as far as to say that, for the price, it wasn’t a complete disaster. They simply failed to execute. In every way, when given the opportunity to have delivery (service) match their appearance, they failed miserably. Time and time again.
Realize that there were many, many instances over the 2+ days we were there. I’m only sharing a few here for examples.
They promised my sister that the wedding party could check in PRIOR to their absurdly late 4:PM check-in time. When pressed, they stated that “someone made a mistake — we cannot promise anyone an early check-in.” This ridiculous travesty went on for 30 minutes, until finally they just gave in and gave them the rooms. That’s right… they had the rooms available for early check-in; they simply wanted my sister to know that they couldn’t promise anything!
No less than a half-dozen staffers opening the doors and welcoming people; my sister, hands full with wedding “stuff,” slips and falls on the steps. They watch, but do not move a muscle. My sister collects herself, and moves toward the door. Courteously opening the door, the nearest bellman says, “be careful, the steps can be slippery.”
Ya think??
When I checked in, I needed the front desk to break a $20 bill. The guy (Tommy) says, “I’m sorry, I can’t make change.” WHAT? “Yes,” he says, “I don’t have access to cash. Perhaps you can go over there and ask a bellman.” I needed the change FOR the bellman, and had no intention of walking anywhere to get it. I exclaimed how surely some people still actually use cash, and perhaps he should find a manager.
Manager comes over, takes my $20 bill, opens a cash drawer and makes change. Complete with “have a nice day!”
Sunday morning, we’re running late (I have a wife, remember?), so I call the operator to get a late check out. I say, “I’ll need a late check-out, say, until 12:30.” Guy says, sorry, 12:00 is best he can do. I respond, “whatever, but I’ll be here until 12:30.” He asks me to hold… a manager comes on the line, repeats my request to me, taps a few computer keys, and says, “There you are, sir. All set!”
No execution. No one, save a few poorly positioned managers, seemed capable of making even rudimentary customer service decisions.
Did I even mention the part about the newlyweds reaching their room around midnight, to discover they had twin double beds?? Don’t get me started again…
Great looking hotel, lots of dinero spent on staff, money leaking out like a drain because of the real, obvious, lack of leadership authenticity.
All hat and no cattle.
Now, no, this isn’t turning into a travel review site (I give the Contessa one of four stars); I merely wanted to demonstrate how leadership must be applied — it must be authentic — to make a difference. Otherwise, it’s just an act.
If you are leading an in-house human resources effort today, and not currently or actively considering outsourcing much of your task-driven work today, get your resume polished up.
You’ll be needing it.
No, this isn’t merely because I’m a consultant hoping to win your outsourced business. It’s because reality is slapping us in the face: We cannot accomplish these task-driven administrative minutiae efforts as cost-effectively as we can outsource them, nor can we maintain the level of talent necessary to be really good at it.
As a friend enjoys telling me, “This ain’t rocket surgery.”
Besides, you don’t need to be doing those things anyway. Businesses need real HR talent doing things that contribute to the success of the business — documenting a beneficiary change to someone’s life insurance doesn’t fit that definition.
Get out of the trenches, and go do something important.
