I didn’t disappear, just fell victim to the “wait until the end of the year to do that” disease.
I did, and it hurt. Traveled 6 out of the last 8 weeks out of the year… and remember, I’m one of those that doesn’t even like to travel. Simply brutal.
Further, with the growth of my business, I’ve been in something of a “hiring” mode, and that’s equally difficult to do — personally — while traveling.
Speaking of hiring… now that the new year is upon us, it’s a great time to do some cleaning up. And I mean the really difficult stuff. Have that performance conversation with the under-performing employee; hire that new sales or marketing pro; stop doing those things that don’t create enterprise value, and focus on those things that do.
I’ll be back soon with something to write home to mom about — thanks for tuning in.
Today marks day 81 of a 3-week home renovation project.
I hate everyone. Especially contractors.
Not hate really, though at a minimum, I am significantly miffed. We’ve been without normalcy at home for going on three months. As someone who works from that home, it’s no small diversion.
Fired first contractor, then lamented because the second one – though faster and more experienced – lacked many of the attributes held by the fired first contractor. Tidbits like honesty, reliability, and integrity, you know, small stuff. /s/
Partly my fault (described below), partly undependable contractors (again, below), but blame isn’t high on my list right now.
Now, it’s just get the damned thing done.
In all fairness, the initial time estimate was aggressive, and I knew it. It went downhill from there. But there are some solid leadership lessons to be learned from the depths of my pit of despair:
Expectations need to be clear, well communicated, and reasonable. I was solid on the first two, weak on the last one.
When someone overpromises, and you know it, have those iterative discussions where we work out a more realistic deliverable timeframe. Most people don’t want to under-deliver, but we allow many to over-promise.
We in leadership can become complicit in their over-promise/under-deliver death spiral.
Know that people will at times disappoint you. We’re all human (well, most of us – you know who I’m talking about), we all make mistakes, and showing some grace allows us, as leaders, to actually demonstrate some of that fancy empathy we’re always reading about.
Miscalculating a deliverable shouldn’t be grounds for a firing squad; it should, however, be a time for discussions, dialog, even negotiations. Now would be the time to get real, and our discussions must allow someone to feel comfortable “coming clean.”
Repeating from above, most people really don’t want to under-deliver; they simply wanted to show competence, gain our confidence, and demonstrate they can do what they promised. Unfortunately, when they “miss,” it can sometimes display just the opposite of those characteristics.
Don’t fall for “the next guy/gal will be better” trap. The first guy under-delivered. His work quality was great, he was reasonably dependable (he’s still a contractor, after all), but I never doubted that he had our best interests at heart.
He only became noncommunicative when it became clear he was going to miss his deadline, by a huge measure. That should have been a clear indicator for me to dive in, but I didn’t.
I had become complicit in his death spiral.
The second contractor was faster, clearly more experienced (and knowledgeable), but we always felt we had to ask him he right questions to get an obvious answer. It didn’t feel like he was our advocate.
We had taken for granted the first contractor’s positive traits, and exacerbated his weaknesses.
Don’t do that.
Having Courageous Conversations. And sooner rather than later.
The first contractor got in over his head; Traci and I discussed it, we made a light, non-specific comment or two to him, and then continued to stew about his slow delivery. It didn’t end well.
The lesson there is three-fold:
Know when you need to have those difficult discussions,
Have them at the onset of difficulties, not when you start getting perturbed, and
Allow the person the opportunity to correct based on the conversation.
Those difficult and courageous conversations are, well, difficult. It does take a measure of courage to dive in and get them done. But we need to do just that. And do it when we first notice something off-track.
Ironically, difficult discussions seem easier when we get angry, but that’s precisely the time we should not be having them.
Fast-forward to today.
I’m writing this as I prepare to go to my daughter’s house to have a few
zoom meetings today and tomorrow. We rehired the first contractor (clean slate) who is now doing an incredible job and are keeping the second contractor on a short leash to make sure he does as promised with no corners cut.
Between the two of them, and us, we should be done in time for our beach trip that starts Monday.
Hopefully, that’s not just wishful thinking on my part. If it is, you’ll read part two next month…
A couple of decades ago, my daughter accompanied me to my cubicle in the Pentagon as part of Take Your Child to Work Day. Pretty boring for an 11-year-old who observed that my entire morning consisted of “playing” on the computer, talking to my friends around the office and on the phone, and wandering around the 17 miles of corridors visiting with people in other cubicles about nonsensical things.
At lunchtime, we were crossing the 5-acre center courtyard looking for child-friendly food when she looked up at me and asked, “Dad, when are you going to get a real job?”
“A real job like what, Honey?”
Pointing to the hard-hatted workers repairing the roof, she knowingly replied, “like those guys up there.”
I’m sure she wasn’t the only one in my office that day without a clue how I really spent my time.
Ever wonder what some people in our organizations really do to earn their paychecks? I mean, besides transporting their coffee cup from one office to another, what do they actually do?
Of course we have.
On the flip side, do people in our organizations wonder what we get paid to do? Heaven forbid!
Because we’re leaders, most of us think we know exactly what each
member or our team does, but we’re a little fuzzy when it comes to what our boss does. Which is odd, since we’re sure our boss doesn’t know what all we do to lead our teams, just like we’re sure our team members don’t appreciate all the effort we put in behind the scenes for their benefit. They probably think we spend our days chatting on the phone, playing on the computer, and visiting with people in other parts of the building.
In other words, it’s a phenomenon we talk about as if we’re not a part of the equation. Why is that? Why do we think we’re the only leader in the company who’s in the know?
And does it even matter?
It matters only if we care what kind of culture our organization has. If there is a lack of awareness about what others in the company are doing, it means we probably work for a company that isn’t transparent and isn’t preparing the next generation of leaders. It means we aren’t making sure our team members know where they fit into the overall strategy, and we might not even be sure where we fit in. It means we’re not empowering our people to do more than the minimum required to keep their jobs.
I’ve gotten pushback from almost everyone I bring this up to. The typical response: “I know exactly what my team does! And I know what my boss’s job is.”
And I throw the BS flag every time.
We may know what we expect of our teams and whether or not they deliver, but it’s not the same as appreciating the effort it takes them or knowing if we’re utilizing their true capabilities and capacity… even if we’ve had their job before. Same reason we don’t think our boss knows what we really do. It doesn’t have to be that way.
We’re better leaders when we know what our teams are struggling with to be successful – and whether we’re challenging them to be even more successful. And we gain that understanding by (wait for it…) talking with them and not just to them.
We’re better leaders when we make sure people know how their performance and successes contribute to the company’s overall success. That’s part of making them feel valued for their efforts.
We’re better leaders when we empower our teams to take on greater responsibilities that prepare them for future challenges. Along the way, we usually find they can accomplish some of what we do, enabling us to focus some of our efforts elsewhere – like maybe how we can enable our boss to focus their efforts on others.
And we’re better leaders when we do these things without causing our teams to feel micromanaged or being seen as managing up. Remember, our success depends on the team’s success… and so does our boss’s.
Does any of this ring a bell? Can we be more selflessly engaged in people’s roles up and down the organizational structure?
Fish or fowl? Black or white? Day or night? We frequently find ourselves arguing whether human resources — as a function — is a true business partner in the strict financial sense or an employee advocate in the most liberal sense.
We’re wasting our time arguing semantics and methodology. Our resources are better spent discussing and acting on results.
First, let’s get some clear definitions and positioning. Is the human resources executive the do-all, end-all example of goodness and perfect behavior in the organization? Of course not. No single person or function is solely responsible for our organization’s’ moral compass. We are, however, the keeper of that compass, like it or not.
It’s simple logic, not the soft, intangible, transactional focus that many embrace. As human resource executives, we function as primary agents of organizational and behavior change — it’s what we do. As focal points for change, we become the de-facto example for that desired behavior. Sorry, but there is a modicum of “glass house” while leading human resources.
This doesn’t mean we are, necessarily, this “employee advocate” that so many speak about. It simply means that we must be exemplify and model the very behaviors we hope to see in an organization. Yes, to some degree, that’s every executive’s charge. But again, we may not be the moral compass of our organization, yet we are surely the keeper of same.
So what, you say? Here’s “what:” We must be true business partners in every sense. Our goals must always be the organization’s goals — no exceptions. Within legal and ethical boundaries, we should be prepared to do whatever is necessary to support our firm’s vision and direction with personal conviction. This is non-negotiable. In addition, we must always recognize that — like it or not — employees (managers and executives often included) look to us for positive, correct examples of desired behavior.
Let’s make sure we set that positive, correct example.
In my many years of experience growing, coaching and training leaders, I’ve discovered that it’s seldom talent… or training… or give-a-shit… that interferes with a leader’s success…, at all but the senior-most (the senior-most) level.
It’s reinforcement. Or, more appropriately, the lack thereof. Managers are trained, facilitated and coached, then return to the barren wasteland of their workplace, left to fend for themselves amid the hyenas, badgers and cape buffalos.
Identifying appropriate leadership behaviors is certainly valuable. Ensuring learners can understand and assimilate those behaviors… equally important. Senior leadership reinforcing those desired behaviors… priceless.
“In behavioral psychology, reinforcement is a consequence applied that will strengthen an organism’s future behavior whenever that behavior is preceded by a specific antecedent stimulus.”
Thank you, Dr. Pavlov.
In consulting terms, he means “When you ring the bell, the dog slobbers.”
And before any Psychologist wannabes (or the real deal) start to educate me on classical vs. operant conditioning, cut me some slack. It’s newsletter article, and I’m trying not to induce an eye-rolling coma.
Now, let’s be clear. Reinforcement isn’t reminding. Reinforcement is used to specifically connect awareness to execution. Or to quote the slobberin’ dog Doc: It’s “a consequence applied that will strengthen… future behavior.”
Like all things necessary and valuable, there’s a process involved, or in this case, four “elements:”
1 – Set expectations. And make ‘em clear, using specific, plain language. Employees sometimes have some difficulty doing their basic jobs; adding “mind-reading” to their description is just plain unfair. And by clear, I mean the employee should be able to read it back to you, and you agree “that completely covers it.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked if someone understands the expectations, and being told “well, they sure should,” based on peripheral, related discussions. I’m not talking hints, clues or innuendo here—I’m saying use simple, concise English language.
Unless of course you don’t speak English.In which case… ah, never mind.
2 – Follow-up. Make your expectations clear, then back up a bit and give employees room to do their job, exhibiting the very behaviors you are reinforcing. That doesn’t mean “never look back;” to inspect what you expect isn’t micro-management, it’s just good management.
3 – Consequences. Good and bad. Negative consequences generally sound like discipline or punishment and can serve as a learning opportunity. The purpose is to associate a behavior with something unpleasant, so they will not repeat that action (and others may see they are not supposed to act that way either). Positive consequences are still in response to an action, but this time, it’s a pleasant response to positive behavior.
Often times, when we give a negative consequence, we are actually reinforcing a behavior because we are giving that outburst unqualified attention, so be careful here.
4 – Modeling desired behavior. If you want someone to behave a certain way, the gold standard is to make sure they see you behaving that way. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Actually, it is, though we oft-times manage to screw it up. We’ll promote positive motivation, then threaten someone because “it’s a special situation.” We’ll say we want no profanity, then let it slip because “we were provoked.” We’ll talk about timely meeting attendance while justifying our “hectic schedule.” No excuses. Model it, or don’t expect it. So, we reinforce to get the actual behaviors desired. Consistency, awareness, feedback, and a helping manner (we want them to grow and improve) are all essential.
